Don't you love 'repo' men and women - big husky's with the brain size of a pea. Repo people have one function in life, pick-up cars to be repossessed due to non-payment. Its a job, what can we say? However, the 'repo' woman at 'Keeping It Moving' (aptly-named - they sell cars as well repossess them) in Cleveland, Ohio went to an address to repossess an auto driven by Salimah Tutstone. The driver went about her business, hooked-up the car and drove away. Problem was she never bothered to check the back seat in the car - otherwise she might have noticed the four year-old sleeping. No such luck. Then again, she might have heard a woman screaming "my baby's in the car", no such luck. We mean this gal must have had her i-pod going full blast!

Okay, if two cops want to kiss each other - big deal, doesn't bother us here. We mean they could be two male cops kissing, or two female cops kissing - who really cares, that's their business. However, two cops from Perry Township in Ohio might have stepped over the line. And crazier yet, they did it on camera for the world to see, uh think the evening local newscast and the world at large via YouTube! Patrol cars are equipped with dash cams - one shows what is going on in front of the patrol car, and one shows what's going on inside a patrol car. Chances are, both images are transmitted back to the station house where they are digitally recorded for use in building a prosecutor's case as to the behavior of the subject while being transported. We'd have to think the officers manning the central communications control console at the jail had quite an eye-opener that evening - 'lets get out the popcorn, this looks like it's really going to be funny!' 'By-the-way, call Mrs. Police Chief, she's really gonna get a kick out of this one!'  

Okay, so we see a middle-aged Police Chief and a young nubile 'just recently of legal age' officer making goo-goo eyes at the chief and the camera. Again, big deal...however, what is wrong with this picture? Well for starters, someone is not wearing a seatbelt, and we're not talking about the burglary suspect in the back seat. Then there is that kissy-kissy stuff between the two while in transit on a darkened freeway or a state route! As the young part time patrolman -er, patrol bimbo is all over the chief, he's taking his eyes off the road which could possibly cause an accident, and both are taking their eyes off the suspect in the backseat. We are also informed the suspect plans to sue both the chief and his mistress of the patrol car. Both are now out of a job, and if the chief is married, his wife has all the evidence she needs to sue for divorce! Something tells us after this experience, the chief's personal night stick has gone soft, and the bimbo in the patrolman's suit is stuck sucking a limp sloppy floppy 'unemployed' middle-aged man's popsicle!-)

...THE LAUGHS ARE HERE!

'CHOOSEY MOM'S DRINK BUZZ!'

We say the above would make a great ad slogan in a woman's publication. ...at least in North Dakota! Seems a mother of a newborn baby decided to get a 'buzz' on by drinking beer while breastfeeding her baby. Well, that caused quite a ruckus with the local constables in Grand Forks. The baby was only six weeks old when the infant had it's first buzz feeding. Mom and the baby had a good time, that is until mommy was hauled off to jail for intoxication and corrupting a minor. Stacey, the mother could get up to five years in jail while the baby goes to detox!-) However, Judge Clapp feels that its unnecessary to slap an 'offender against children' charge on her. So next time you are in North Dakota and breastfeeding a baby in a bar - stick with a Shirley Temple!-) We bet that's what Stacey chooses next time! 

What do you get when you have a mile long police rap sheet for things like burglary, evading arrest and illegal drug possession - trouble, and lots of it! Clinton Elton Middleton is a young multi-talented moron with a late model Ford F-150 pick-up truck. Considering the amount of time he spent in the courts, maybe it was not a good idea he owned a vehicle. At least a recent escapade seems to indicate this? 'Elty' decided he needed to stop for some gas at a service station. No problem with this, if the gage reads 'nearly-empty', one stops and gets gas. However, Mr. Middleton is a little low on cash - and gee whiz, with his record he needs to pick up some partying supplies. What to do? So, he fills up the massive tank in his pick-up truck, and decides, 'hey, I've got the gas, I'm ready to go - don't need to pay shit to no gas jockey' - at least that's our imaginary summation. So, he gets into his truck, flips the guy at the cash register either a 'peace' sign, or the 'bird' or maybe both, and simply drives away. Now anyone with half a brain knows most businesses have security cameras rolling tape to catch the freeloaders in action. The gas station attendant calls the police and the chase is on...Texas Style! It begins in the small town of Van Alstyne and ends up in a muddy ditch outside of Corsicana. In between a news helicopter follows the suspects Ford F-150 from the sky, picking up the chase near its beginning through to the bitter end, broadcasting it live and uncut not only in Texas, but to the world lucky enough to watch a raw news feed online on CBS News and CNN.

'ELTON, YOU'RE A GREAT DRIVER, BUT A SOCIAL MORON!

We really want to write Sara Palin off to the history books, however she just won't go away. Her latest statement is she believes the Obama Healthcare Bill will have a provision for a death board - you know, Medicare and Medicaid knocking off grannys, grandfathers and the disabled young and old. We expect her to exclaim any day now that she's a health expert...yeah, right! Of course, Sara is full of gaffe's. Remember that 'Bridge To Nowhere' she voted in favor of? Then there was her statement that she was an expert in foreign affairs because she could physically see Russia from her home in Alaska! There were those interviews with Katie Coric and Charles Gibson at ABC News where her political intellect really shined! There was that little thing about firing a Wasilla police chief because he refused to fire a trooper who was going through a divorce with her sister. During the McCain Presidential bid, Sara decided she and her family should have a whole new wardrobe courtesy of the Republican Party. Hey, a babe's gotta look good, doesn't she? When her New York shopping spree on the elephant's dollar caused such an uproar, she said she'd return the expensive fashions...uh, some of them...   

Sara Palin explains why she is stepping down as governor before completing her first term...

Sara Palin was proud to be called a 'hockey' mom, and no doubt she could swing a mean puck...just ask her former brother-in-law! Interesting thing, Sara didn't even finish her first term as governor when she ran off with John McCain to be his presidential running mate. Even before the campaign was over, she was already talking about going 'Hollywood' and maybe doing a comedy with Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live fame. While governor, Sara had pardoned a turkey for the Thanksgiving holiday and gave an interview at a turkey farm while the birds were having their heads chopped off behind her. Then there's that 'hockey mom's' family value thing where her oldest daughter who was only 18 at the time comes up single and pregnant. During the campaign, the father was dragged in front of the cameras along with her daughter saying they were making wedding plans, but after the election, Sara told the young man to 'get lost!' Currently there are rumors around the web that both Sara and her husband were having extramarital affairs on the side. Sara has recently signed a million dollar book deal, she's being scheduled for book signings around the country in the bargain book isles of Dollar General Stores!-) Oh, and that quitting the governor thing? Word has it, she bought land in Montana while a rumor circulates that hubby and her were spitting, something she's denied of course! Oh well, more fodder for David Letterman, Jay Leno and Conan! Oh, her book? It'll be on family values!     

What is perhaps the saddest thing, is this is no joke. Two mothers who ended up causing the deaths of innocent children because they decided to get high and drive. There really is no excuse these brain-dead two can give - in fact, one mother along with the children died in her charge is also dead! The mother on the left is 26 year-old Amber Turley of Morrilton, Arkansas. According to an AP story, on April 19th, 2009, Amber was driving home to Plummerville and decided to stop by Lake Brewer with her three children in tow, after first dropping off her boyfriend. Well, nothing wrong with that, except Amber had been drinking earlier and drove right into the drink. Her children ages eight thru two, drowned! Amber swam to shore, claiming she tried to save her babies, but geez, they really were not great swimmers, especially around three in the morning while it was raining. So lets see...Amber lived, her boyfriend lived, ah...the three boys went down with the ship...'er car! Amber had been drinking earlier at her dad's place who (he admits she had a few brewskies earlier in the evening at his place) swears when she left, she was stone sober. Yeah, right!   

"Yeah, we had a few...but geez, we're mothers!"

Amber Turley was booked on Friday, August 7th, 2009 for DWI and Child Endangerment...ah group, the kids are dead...we think that goes beyond endangerment? Turnley didn't spend much time in the cooler, someone popped up the $5000 bond a few hours later. The father of the deceased children had no comment.

Meanwhile, 36 year-old Diane Schuler of Long Island, New York, managed to take the lives of five children and two other adults along with herself on July 26th, 2009 while driving the wrong way on the Taconic Parkway. Her young 5 year-old son was the only survivor. Before the accident, she had called her brother on her cell phone saying she was not feeling too well. Her brother told her to stay where she was and he'd rescue her and the others. Smart idea! However, Diane did not take that advice to heart and decided to drive on, crashing head-on into an SUV! According to police, they found a broken open bottle of Absolut vodka in her wrecked Ford Windstar. During autopsy, it was found that Diane had ingested tetrahydrocannabinol, a substance found in marijuana along with a blood alcohol of 0.19, or the equivalent of ten beers. Of course we have to wonder why the other adults in the vehicle with her didn't have the brains to take the wheel, then maybe again, they may have been stoned as well! So much for motherhood!  

Margaret, one of our readers, passed on this thought from an anonymous blogger. We Thought it was interesting enough to pass onto our other readers...

'THE URINE TEST'

Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see fit. In order to get that paycheck in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test.  (with which I have no problem) What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.  

So here is my question...

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check, because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people getting back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with someone sitting on their ass - doing drugs while I work.

Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could title that program, 'Urine Or Your Out!'

If you like the idea, pass it onto your friends. Something has to change in this country and soon!

(Editor's Note: Thanks Margaret for passing it on to us.)   

George W. Bush takes one last news conference as President in Iraq. Uh, whose stupid idea was this? Well, if you were a disgruntled White House employee about to lose your job at the end of a failed presidency, you might go along with such a stupid idea. So why would an Iraqi journalist be mad at the most unpopular president in American history - you guessed it, no matter where he travels, he'll be remembered as an imbecile and inept politician and an outright idiot - can we make it any clearer than that? In eight years, he has left the United States in an economic shambles, he has destroyed both the United States and Iraq in one swipe, putting the USA in a recession, one step behind a 1930's-style depression! Recovering alcoholic our ass...the man's brain was clearly 'fried' by the time he reached the White House! So take a spit-ball and toss it at your computer screen and see if you can make a direct hit!-)        

Okay, what happens when you take twenty-two dogs and one nut and put them in a station wagon for weeks on end? One smelly hell of a mess! In North Texas a woman and her 'twenty-two' canine friends were living in a station wagon with the windows rolled-up. Of course we wonder how a woman who could afford nice car like that, can have a nut loose? You can be sure the methane and ammonia levels were quite high in that car, and sure enough they were - 23 parts per million, people start getting ill at 12 parts per million of ammonia. The woman was not coherent, nope, she was plain nuts! Betcha those pooches were glad to get out of that car as well! The dog on the right looks like its starting to chow down on the sick woman, or its just plain barfing - come up with your own explanations!-) Oh well, can't be any worse than a cat woman with 500 cats in a house and one un-emptied litter box?

...okay, if you're looking for two pussies to fight, we've included those as well...and a gorilla match up...

...brought to you by...

PRE-MENSTRUAL CRAMPS

- Run For The Hills, Things Are Going to Get BITCHY!!!

A BIG BOX STORE MOMENT

On a site called 'WalMart Blows' we found the following blog which describes the procedure on dealing with illness. We really feel sorry for those working at store levels - because if you are really there, you are not considered as human. Seems they put the worst people in charge to make decisions. Something tells us that headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas takes their cue from the late Chairman Mao's 'little red book' in China. This little incident is one of many examples you'll find on the site.  

A GOOD REASON TO STAY IN SCHOOL!

STUPID STUNTS ON CAMERA!

Watch these IDIOTS do dumb things & pay the price!

TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride approached 
her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first 
               lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. 

This scenario was repeated each time they 
made love, for more than 30 years, 
with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes 
and other incidentals that she needed. 

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that 
his employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go. It was 
unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning - they were financially ruined! 

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty years of steady deposits 
and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she 
showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank 
which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank . 

She explained that for the more than three decades 
she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had 
  multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. 

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million. Her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, 
but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 
"If I'd had any idea what you were doing, 
I would have given you all my business!" 

That's when she shot him. 

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
to keep their mouths shut!

(SUBMITTED BY MARGARET)